Sunday, May 31, 2009

Melancholic me!

Okay, it all started when Miss Afie mentioned about this book entitled "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer. I haven't read it yet but I have been googling a little here and there. And of course, I'm planning to grab one! (em, buku ni dah lama sebenarnya ye..)

It might just sound fun to get to know one's personality, but to me it is not merely just for fun.. it's a MUST! Dealing with people and their unique characters have made a point for me to really understand people. A nice tagline on this book "Understanding others by understanding yourself", which is actually very meaningful. Yep, sometimes we just want others to understand us, without actually trying to understand others. Yet, do we really actually understand our own selves? Why do we sometimes feel uncomfortable to work with these kind of people, or why just these kind of people so hard to be pleased? yadayada..

And hey, I just found out that there are so much things about me that I haven't understand yet!
Ok, it's a fact. heh.

Here are the four main personality profiles from this book,

Sanguine Personality

The basic desire of people with sanguine personality is to have fun. They can be described as someone who has good sense of humor, is adventurous, talkative and someone who likes to express their thought. They are usually popular and well-known people. In a party, they can be seen as the life of the party. People with this personality are best at making initial contact with other people, they are also best at encouraging and uplifting others, and ensuring everyone have fun. They can be described as creative people.

Choleric Personality

The basic desire of people with choleric personality is to have control. They can be described as someone who is loyal, likes to control and do things their way, fast and they usually take on the leadership role. They are also known as risk takers and they like challenges. People with choleric personality are best at motivating people to action, controlling work activities and giving instructions. They can be described as a leadership person.

Melancholy Personality

The basic desire of people with melancholy personality is to have perfection. They can be described as someone who is analytical, serious, purposeful, sensitive, and someone who likes to think. They set high standards for things to be accomplished and they are planned and well organized people. Besides, they are also seen as someone who needs space and they tend to like quiet surrounding and hang out with a smaller group of friends. People with melancholy personality are best at explaining details, planning, setting long term goals and they are usually good at figures. They can be described as a detailed person.

Phlegmatic Personality

The basic desire of people with phlegmatic personality is to have peace. They can be described as someone who is soft, calm and cool, friendly, well balanced and has many friends. They are also be very good listeners. People with phlegmatic personality are best at staying calm amidst chaos, not overreacting to negative situation and in making sure everone is comfortable. However, these people can sometimes be seen as rather undiciplined and can be indecisive. They are best described for being a support person.

These are just the brief descriptions of the four personality. To understand more, you might just need to read the book or take the test. Just google for personality plus test, okay?

My result: I'm mostly melancholy and a little into choleric. A combination of melancholy and choleric. As stated here..

Personality Combinations

A person usually has 2 combined birth personalities.
The natural combinations of personalities are Sanguine+Choleric, Choleric+Melancholy, Melancholy+Phlegmatic, Phlegmatic+Sanguine. However, it is not possible for someone to have Phlegmatic+Choleric or Sanguine+Melancholy combinations of birth personalities. The reason is that both are on the extreme sidea of one another. Hence, those combinations are unnatural. Most people have a dominant and a secondary personality, but these may vary greatly depending on the extent the degree of dominance the dominant personality has. Some people might also have balanced personalities between the dominant and secondary.

Haha.. no wonder sometimes I feel lost with people with Sanguine personality. They will totally overshadowed me and I will tend to just pull myself away. heh.

And no wonder I don't like people that don't like to sit down, gather the facts and think before taking any action. I can get easily irritated with people which is dominantly choleric because they tend to give orders without considering others. Or maybe it is just because I'm dominantly melancholic so I can be too sensitive when this choleric people are just insensitive.

When I said that I'm not totally a melancholic, it is because I have stopped becoming a perfectionist (I hope so). I still remember when I was a kid, I was so frustrated because I cannot make up my bed. I cried because my bed sheet still turned out to have wrinkles as I tried to keep it neat. and it has become a popular phrase in my family when they tried to put a joke on me, "banyak kedut-kedut..". haha. Then, I just learned that not everything can be perfect, so I just turn to love imperfections now =P
and I'm not someone who love to keep quiet, sober and unfriendly. It is just I hate to be in the limelight or being well-known. I just like to keep myself low. Having my name as Kuchinque did tells everything, isn't it?

I can be a little crazy on details and facts. Call me weirdo, but I love to google and find out things before going to a new place or buy something. Even going to visit someone, I will get the advice from my faithful companion, the google map! In case of emergency, I might just know how to get things done! Yeah, melancholy people tend to think the worst and make plans. When I am in charged, I will possibly make a few plans, in case the first plan does not work.

Melancholy are afraid of changes, and I have to admit that I am. That's why I need to keep encouraging myself to take challenges and push myself to the limit! But I can get irritated too by people who are totally melancholic! I have met people who keep worrying about things and changes, totally freaking me out! (and somehow, I learned that it was a reflection of me if I tend to be so melancholic)

So here are more details on Melancholy personality that I have just picked. Might just useful for other people to get to know people with the same characters of mine. A kind of useful advice I think..

Those who have Melancholy people close to them should drop generalizations from their vocabulary. Words like “always” and “never” will not be appreciated. If at all possible, drop the volume of your voice and keep your tone friendly. If you are in a bad mood, take care that you do not drip your negativity on them, they will take it personal and be wondering all day what they did wrong.

A Melancholy can become easily isolated (yep, selalu terasa ditinggalkan. huhu). It’s a good thing to keep in touch and give them a lot of positive feedback and personal affirmation.

Melancholy’s think all the time. When they get quiet, watch out… Don’t be afraid to ask them if everything is alright. Depending on where they are on the road to spiritual maturity, they may not tell you what is really wrong, but be persistent. If you get the feeling that they have been offended by something that you said, just say so. “Did I hurt you when I said…”

Phlegmatic and Sanguine people do not usually have too many problems getting along with the Melancholy. But the Choleric can be a bit rough on them, so they will have to try to tone it down and develop their sensitivity.

The Melancholy is usually an amazing exhorter. When they do give you complements, they mean it (haha, no wonder I hardly give any complements). They are also often prayer warriors when they turn their thoughts into prayers for the people around them. They are merciful and sensitive to others, making great confidants and counselors.

Haha. Everything seems to be so true!

But here is a good reminder,
Once we have already understood ourselves, we can understand people better. No one personality is better than another, each fills in one another. If we meet a choleric, we should talk in the ‘language’ of a choleric: certainty, clear picture and goals. The same also goes for melancholy: details, well-organized; sanguine: enthusiastic, interesting; and phlegmatic: peace, balance. These keys, however, do not mean that everyone will be exactly the same, but they can help us to deal with them better.

It's good to get to know one's personality as it can assists on how to find ways dealing with mad'u or the people you are actually working with. Insya Allah =)


Anonymous said...

salam kak!
huhu.. i did that quiz after my spm, hardly recall the self-help book..
mine - sanguine..

and guess what, in our physiology lecture - High Nervous Activity, we learn this! Why human's behaviour is diff. and da most 'scientific' xplaination provided by da lecturer is - those 4 personality theory by Hippocrates! Apakah??!!!

kuchinque said...

I think I did came across the one's with Hipocrates. Something to do with bile and the ailments...
and of course, i just turn it away.

wow, sanguine!
The opposite of me! heh ;)

Arifah said...

Dear Umah and Kucing,
Just to clarify some information here, hehe, to be frank Florance Littaeur developed Personality Plus from those 4 personality theory by Hippocrates. That's why the personality types are termed choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic and sanguine. Since I'm a medical student kan, (hehe! =P) lets learn some medical terms:

1) Choler = bile
- usually people who have billious ailments ten to be easily irritable and bossy, just like a choleric

2) phelgm = kahak
- I'm not sure how phlegm relates to phelgamtic type of personality, but just to make a guess maybe sebab kahak tu macam liquid so org phegmatic macam relax, kut? Hehhe.

3) melancholic = is a term used in the field of psychiatry
- melancholic actually means moody, just like what Littaeur potrayed melancholic people to be like

4) sanguine = latin word for blood
- Why blood? because blood is red and sanguine people tend to be rosy, denoting a temperament characterized by a light, fair complexion, full pulse, good digestion, optimistic outlook, and a quick but not lasting temper. I took the definition for sanguine from an online medical dictionary. Hehhe. =P

Right, so there! Have straighten out what's wrong (just what a choleric likes to do, hahahha! =P). However, we should always remember that whoever we are, we must always strive to be apart of the Best Ummah for mankind, a true Muslim in every sense. And that can only be achieved by knowing the personality of the Best Man ever, our beloved prophet Muhammad saw (pbuh). Let's become true Muslims! ;)


Arifah said...

Oh, and you can read this

for better understanding of how the terms were derived. =)

kuchinque said...

jazakillahu khayr, miss choleric Arifah!
yes, appreciate the differences that God has created us and let's complete each other...
together as an ummah!

Afifah said...

Salam kak KD!
Just dropping by.
Rupanya, Kak KD ialah seorang Melancholic. Interesting.

I myself found out (after being harassed by my dear sister...haha. No, just kidding. I was quite willing.) that I'm phelgmatic. But I have a bit of melancholic too. ;)

kuchinque said...

All the 4 temperaments are here in my comment box ;)

sanguine - iman
choleric - arifah
melancholic - me
phlegmatic - afifah

oh, how this world really need all of us!!!

(I hv bought the book!!!)