Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hope and change II

As I wrote the first post on Hope and Change, I am really intended to post something about the changes that happened to me in the 22 years of my life. Seeing many other changes from other people urged me to write, despite of the time constraints and other self-excuses I possibly make on purpose. Changing is not easy. That's why I think I really should put this in written words as it would always be a good reminder for me, for the blessings Allah has sent me for each second of my life.

How should I start? I never even have thought to be what I am right now or imagining of such changes and steps I have taken to be what I am right now. One question people may ask, "what drives me to make such changes?" And I would smile happily to answer, "It's Allah...and my journey to seek His pleasure."

But, how did it starts? I have never even thought about pleasing God all my life. God has always been good towards me, He gave me happiness, He sent me good friends and good people around. Everything is enough for me. I am happy, I am healthy, I have everything I want in my life. Though I used to cry a lot, I always feel relieved when I finished crying. Life is so easy to me. I don't even feel any emptiness as I have really good friends to hang around.

God loves me more. Despite my on and off love towards God by just being a muslim that practised solah and other religous obligations without even realizing the purpose of my creation, God has never stops loving me and send me His blessings. I was bad, in my solah I said (promised) that my life is purposely for Him, but in other time I live my life without holding to that purpose.

I have never realized this until God took hold of my heart and lead me to the journey of truth. Alhamdulillah, He showed me the light and I have been dazzled to seek for His love since then. I have been introduced to the purpose of my life on this world. I have to say that 51:56 and 2:30 really 'whacked' me up from my dreams. I am very much thankful to God for waking me up and made me realized that life is a mission not a destination. Why should we spend our life to the fullest? ..with dreams that would be ended up with nothing for us to bring to the real destination, the hereafter.

Making changes is not easy, but Allah has helped me all the way. He knows that I can be really stubborn at times and a real rebellious too. He, with His love helped me to take my baby-steps in this path. I made all decision for the changes by asking Him first. If someone else urged me to do so, I'm afraid I would be to stubborn to follow people's words. There were times when I feel lost of His grip, and I keep asking what can I do more to have Him be by my side each and every time. And He showed me that it was the time for me to start making a few changes, so that I could take a bigger step in this beautiful path of seeking His love. There's nothing that drives me to make the changes but for the love and to please Him for all the love He has showered me all my life.

Making changes may not be enough to show my grattitude for His love and blessings, again Allah shows me that I need to share this beautiful love from God with others. Now, I do believe that the decisions I've made to make changes are blessings from God.

Is there anything better than the love and blessings from Him?
Changes can be good.
Go seek the answer from Him



Mohamad Hilman bin Nordin said...

happy belated birthday! =)

kuchinque said...

be happy for being blessed with time left to do more deeds.

be not so happy to look back to the deeds of the past years and how much we have done with all the time we had.