"I haven't work enough."
I know I should have done something right now. Well, I've started with something at the second I was home for the holidays. I wanted to do more but I just don' know how. I have a very big responsibility and that's why I'm here, at home. If it's not because of this big responsibility, I would choose to be with my friends instead. I hope what I do right now is only to make Allah pleased with me. I helped my mother, so Allah will be pleased with me. I help my brother, so Allah will be pleased with me.
But, I'm afraid that I haven't work enough, would Allah be pleased with me?
Provided with wireless internet is such a bless to me. Yeah, easier to me for blogging. And easier to me to get many kinds of resources, get in touch with old friends etc. But on the other side, everyone is so busy with their own 'works'. We spend more time to face the computer screen than facing each other. Semua orang tenggelam dalam dunia masing-masing. Kalau nak panggil, duduk dan berkumpul pun punyalah susah. Breakfast pun tak de nyer nak duduk sama-sama, apatah lagi makan yang lain-lain. They rather took their plates and sit in front of the TV than sit properly on the dining table and eat together-gather. Typically, modern kids!
My mom tengah further study, in UPSI. and she's having classes, test and exams at the moment. So, she's very busy. Sometimes, she'll stay at Tg. Malim for days when she have night classes. And usually, I have to play my mom's part at home. Cleaning, cooking etc. I never mind that but having other bigger kids at home should be helpful to supply extra energy to do mom's chores, isn't it? (Mom is so great that she can do multiple tasks at one time compared to me). Having bigger boys who's athletic or having bigger brain doesn't help at all. Sometimes, I wish that they can use their energy and brain for a better use rather than competing for the computer games. Takde matlamat langsung. And speaking with these big boys memang memenatkan. Kalaulah diorang ni boleh fikir dengan matang sikit. Ish, ish, ish.. Harap masuk sekolah SBP je, balik rumah macam budak tak pernah sekolah :(8
The smaller kids
The smaller kids are consist of a girl and a boy. Nani, aged 9 and Ammar, aged 6. And they can cause trouble more than you can think of. Most of the time, macam anjing dengan kucing. Selagi takde orang campur tangan memang tak boleh nak berhenti. Sometimes they can be the best of allies, sometimes the greatest enemies. Memang exhausting to handle them. Bukan setakat handle their perangai, tapi handle segala kemusnahan yang terhasil daripada berantakan mereka. Takde la kesah sangat, but what I worry the most is the influence they got when the 'big kids' are home. Kalau influence yang baik, takpe. Tapi, hmm.. bila semua dah naik kepala sendiri. Rasanya diorang pun pening kepala, kakaknye yang ni buat macam ni, yang sorang lagi buat macam ni, abangnye pulak macam ni. Macam-macam. I tried to help whatever I could. The usuals what I do with Nani, solat sama-sama, baca al-Qur'an etc. Tapi bila dah ada internet, budak-budak ni pun sibuk nak main games online. Macam-macam...
Alhamdulillah, dah stop pakai Astro. Lagi dahsyat pengaruhnya...
Maybe many people see me as a quiet person. Some will say that I'm such a talker. Well, that depends on WHEN do they meet me. I talk when I know what I'm talking about. I talk when I need to talk. I talk when I know that I have to talk. Other than that, I prefer to be in my quiescent mode. I would say that I'm much a thinker than a talker. Maybe, people found that as 'slow' but I am actually making sure that whatever I do or I said should give an impact or produce a good output. As the oldies saying goes," terlajak perahu boleh diundur terlajak kata buruk padahnya". I think there's nothing wrong of being quiet and let your heart do the talking :D
>> I'm trying to be good sister but I think I haven't work enough to be one...