My dear family

"I haven't work enough."
I know I should have done something right now. Well, I've started with something at the second I was home for the holidays. I wanted to do more but I just don' know how. I have a very big responsibility and that's why I'm here, at home. If it's not because of this big responsibility, I would choose to be with my friends instead. I hope what I do right now is only to make Allah pleased with me. I helped my mother, so Allah will be pleased with me. I help my brother, so Allah will be pleased with me.
But, I'm afraid that I haven't work enough, would Allah be pleased with me?

Internet
Provided with wireless internet is such a bless to me. Yeah, easier to me for blogging. And easier to me to get many kinds of resources, get in touch with old friends etc. But on the other side, everyone is so busy with their own 'works'. We spend more time to face the computer screen than facing each other. Semua orang tenggelam dalam dunia masing-masing. Kalau nak panggil, duduk dan berkumpul pun punyalah susah. Breakfast pun tak de nyer nak duduk sama-sama, apatah lagi makan yang lain-lain. They rather took their plates and sit in front of the TV than sit properly on the dining table and eat together-gather. Typically, modern kids!

Mom's away
My mom tengah further study, in UPSI. and she's having classes, test and exams at the moment. So, she's very busy. Sometimes, she'll stay at Tg. Malim for days when she have night classes. And usually, I have to play my mom's part at home. Cleaning, cooking etc. I never mind that but having other bigger kids at home should be helpful to supply extra energy to do mom's chores, isn't it? (Mom is so great that she can do multiple tasks at one time compared to me). Having bigger boys who's athletic or having bigger brain doesn't help at all. Sometimes, I wish that they can use their energy and brain for a better use rather than competing for the computer games. Takde matlamat langsung. And speaking with these big boys memang memenatkan. Kalaulah diorang ni boleh fikir dengan matang sikit. Ish, ish, ish.. Harap masuk sekolah SBP je, balik rumah macam budak tak pernah sekolah :(8

The smaller kids
The smaller kids are consist of a girl and a boy. Nani, aged 9 and Ammar, aged 6. And they can cause trouble more than you can think of. Most of the time, macam anjing dengan kucing. Selagi takde orang campur tangan memang tak boleh nak berhenti. Sometimes they can be the best of allies, sometimes the greatest enemies. Memang exhausting to handle them. Bukan setakat handle their perangai, tapi handle segala kemusnahan yang terhasil daripada berantakan mereka. Takde la kesah sangat, but what I worry the most is the influence they got when the 'big kids' are home. Kalau influence yang baik, takpe. Tapi, hmm.. bila semua dah naik kepala sendiri. Rasanya diorang pun pening kepala, kakaknye yang ni buat macam ni, yang sorang lagi buat macam ni, abangnye pulak macam ni. Macam-macam. I tried to help whatever I could. The usuals what I do with Nani, solat sama-sama, baca al-Qur'an etc. Tapi bila dah ada internet, budak-budak ni pun sibuk nak main games online. Macam-macam...
Alhamdulillah, dah stop pakai Astro. Lagi dahsyat pengaruhnya...

Dalam Hati
Maybe many people see me as a quiet person. Some will say that I'm such a talker. Well, that depends on WHEN do they meet me. I talk when I know what I'm talking about. I talk when I need to talk. I talk when I know that I have to talk. Other than that, I prefer to be in my quiescent mode. I would say that I'm much a thinker than a talker. Maybe, people found that as 'slow' but I am actually making sure that whatever I do or I said should give an impact or produce a good output. As the oldies saying goes," terlajak perahu boleh diundur terlajak kata buruk padahnya". I think there's nothing wrong of being quiet and let your heart do the talking :D

>> I'm trying to be good sister but I think I haven't work enough to be one...

and this is my second artwork for the design :D
what do you think?

... and I just bought a Kleenex!! :(

I should have find this site before so I'll know which items should I boycott.
I just bought a Kleenex this evening, without realizing it is one of the supplier for Israel.

"Terbeli, ok.." I never meant to do so. May Allah forgive me.
Berapa butir peluru la yang dah 'terbayar' tu? Harap-harap peluru tu tak kena la takpun harap-harap peluru tu terkena dekat orang Israel sendiri.
Isk, isk, isk...
What have i done??

And after having this list. I should be AWARE of what I'm buying!
o_o <-- Besarkan mata...

Langit Menangis

Hari ini langit menangis
sejak semalam lagi tersedu-sedan.
Apakah langit menangis kerana melihat bumi tersiksa?
dan pabila langit menangis tanpa henti,
bumi turut bergelora.
Apakah itu petanda yang Maha Kuasa?

Dream, Dream, Dream, Dreaming...?

"I don't dream"
"I mean, I don't have dreams..maybe."

I remembered saying this to a friend.
The truth is, I do have dreams before but I have stopped dreaming.
To me, dreams are unrealistic. In other words, fantasy. Hardly to become true.
What I have now are aim, goal and plans.

AIM---> Redha Allah
GOAL---> Jannah
PLANS---> well, that's huge to tell. hehe ;p But, it's suppose to reach the goal :)

Plans?
Hmm..It reminds me of something.
One time, I told my mother that I'm thinking to further my study.
After the degree, I would like to continue for master and then Ph.D
That's way before getting the KPM scholarship (which means, I have to rethink and re-plan all over).
and this is how my mom replied,
"Habis tu, bila nak kahwin?"

(Kahwin??)

Blink, Blink: The Vid

Extra video to watch in addition to my previous post ;)

Blink, blink...

I haven't finish writing the post I intended to submit at the moment. Here is a post I just submitted in my other blog. Sorry, I'm trying to finish up the real post, but at the moment feel free to read this and come to my 'old' blog. But you have to be my 1st degree friend in order to view it. (If you can view it just right, you are already in my friends list, if not than you have to ask me to be in the list :D) http://360.yahoo.com/kuchinque


There's so much things I want to write at the moment. I wish I can just turn what's inside my head into words so I can just pour it here and let everyone knows what I'm actually thinking. I'm not at the best emotion at this period. PMS plus what's happening at home increased the negative side of me. I shouldn't blame PMS anyway. But home doesn't always makes me happy. IF you only know what's happening to my family. IF I only know what should I do about it. It has to be my responsibility now, but I just can't think right. I don't know what to do but to just keep praying that Allah will help me to make it right again. Allah knows best and to Him I rely everything. I've tried a few things and it didn't come out well enough but that doesn't mean that I have to stop trying, isn't it?

The good thing about home is to have the little kids around especially my six-year-old brother Ammar. Last night he asked me to read a bedtime story. I tried to find something useful and I found a story about Zaid bin Thabit (which is actually chosen by Ammar himslef when I held the book and asked him to choose). He asked me to read with a certain tones and he corrected me a few times when I didn't sound good to him. He is just too cute to be insisted and I just followed what he wants. But the most interesting story is about Zaid bin Thabit himself. Since he was a kid he wanted so much to be with Rasulullah S.A.W. He wanted to be in Badar and he was so eager that he carried a sword as long as his own body, but Rasulullah refused to let him go.

Instead, he found other ways to be near Rasulullah. He memorized ayat-ayat Qur'an each time it was sent to the prophet. Rasulullah even asked him to learn Hebrews so he can help whenever they need to deal with the Jews. and so on..

It was really interesting and it makes me think that there's so much more about Islam that I haven't know yet. I'm trying to do so and I want to use the time I had right now to learn more. I think that being 20 is old enough to start to think of what we can do to help in make a change to the world. If Muhammad al-Fatih could open Constantinople to Islam at the age of 21, if Hassan al-Banna could form Ikhwanul Muslimin at the age of 21 (if I'm not mistaken ,but he was at his early twenties at that time), then it is possible to anyone of us to start thinking and contribute a change to the world. We have been in the comfort zone for too long. We have been so happy with our 'peaceful' life that we just didn't hear at the other side of the world our muslim brothers and sisters are calling for help. They are calling for us (the Muslims) not U.S.

How much do we know about the other Muslim countries or the Muslim people itself in other countries? Have you know about Ariteria and Djibouti? or Mauritania and Algeria? Do we know about how Israel is formed? where they come from? how actually the name Israel comes from? Where in the world map is Palestine actually situated? That Jordan is actually part of Palestine? That Egypt is just at the side of Palestine? That the Egypt Prime Minister (or President, whatever they call him) has said that he is not the the President of Palestine so he has nothing to do with them (eventhough they just live next door)? That many of the Muslims today has become so selfish that it was just too hard for them to care about what is happening to the other muslims (even they just live so near with them)? or maybe we are just too busy to care about the muslims problems than caring for our wardrobes or collection of CD's, MP3's or Japanese and Korean Drama? or maybe we are just too busy creating our world of fantasy by reading fiction books that we think that it was too good to just leave it away and start caring about what is happening to the world? realize it or not, we are just being SELFISH. and yes we are. We could eat happily at McD's or KFC without realizing that every cents we paid actually turned into bullets that teared up our Muslim brothers and sisters into pieces. Every blood that shed from them are thanks to our contribution. Indeed...

Just imagine if they are really our own family members. Would you dare to eat happily when what you paid actually kills your little brother, sister or even parents? Would you dare to care about your latest outfit or the new comic released when someone actually has broken into your house and took your family away or even... kill them?
There's a good video in you tube that you can watch entitled 10 minutes, which can make you start thinking...


So dear friends, use the time you have wisely. Every second counts...
"Barangsiapa yang tidur nyenyak dan tidak mengambil peduli urusan umat Islam, dia bukan dari golongan mereka" (Riwayat al-Baihaqi)
and remember, don't be selfish. Giving money is just not enough.
WE ALL NEED TO DO SOMETHING.

p.s. if you need answers for any of the questions above, feel free to ask me :)

Hindraf: Darah, Tanah dan Akidah

I was actually thinking about writing about something else. But since this issue is still hot to be discussed, I think I should give some opinions on it before it becomes 'lapok' or forgotten. A 'new' me should be someone who really cares and concerns about everything that happen around. So, here is my fifty cents on this matter.

The issue being brought up in the media is there is a bunch of Indians trying to get the Brits' concern on them since their ancestors were brought here by the Brit etc. etc...
Well, that is not the matter I would like to discuss here. My concern is the solution.
How would this problem can be settled?

They want the same privileges as the Bumiputra, but they can't since they are non-bumi's.
Ikatan darah, sesuatu yang sangat mustahil untuk diubah apatah lagi memilih. She is born to be Malay, He is Indian, They are Chinese but they never choose themselves to be what they are, were they? If the law states that the privileges are for the Bumi's only, would it be fair to those non-bumi? They don't choose themselves to be non-bumi, isn't it?

Ikatan tanah. Where we born, what is our nationality, where is our origin. It is all about fate. No single person got to choose where they want to be born, their nation nor their origin. So, is it fair for the law to give the privileges only to the people based on those characteristics?

This kind of man-made law contains many flaws thus creating misunderstandings, disagrees and many other impacts. To me, the only best solution is by following Allah's law. He has created us all and He knows what's best for us.

Ikatan akidah. The only thing that can be changed. If the law follows Islamic rules, anyone who is a muslim will get the privileges. Islam is not bound by blood or region, but bind by love.
Islam is a religion of love but not many people really understands it. Too many misconceptions in the media made it harder to those who understands to clarify it to the world. Islam is about sharing and caring. Remember when the muslims from Makkah hijrah (took a journey) to Madinah. The Muhajireen (Muslims from Makkah) know no one in the Madinah not even related with them except for having the same faith. The Ansar (Muslim in Madinah) they accept the Muhajireen as if they were their brothers. They provide shelters, food, money, their orchards and anything that can help the Muhajireen as they have left almost everything they had back in Makkah. The bond of love taught by The Prophet Muhammad is something very amazing as in the 35th Hadith in 40 Hadiths of Imam an-Nawawi:

Translation:
The Authority Of Abu Hurairah
The messenger of Allah said :
"Do not envy one another; do not inflate prices one to another; do not hate one another; do not turn away from one another; and do not undercut one another, but be you, O servants of Allah, brothers. A muslim is the brother of a muslim: he neither oppresses him nor does he fail him, he neither lies to him nor does he hold him in contempt. Piety is right here-and he pointed to his chest three times. It is evil enough for a man to hold his brother muslim in contempt. The whole of a muslim for another muslim is inviolable: his blood, his property, and his honor."
(Related by Imam Muslim)

Islam is the religion of PEACE & LOVE. Let's spread LOVE...